In my mind I’m experiencing a deep divergence between what I do know and what I feel.
Want to be cool, let it flow and give it to the “Universe”, but my feelings are real, are not “assumptions”, it’s not something that I simple throw in a “box” and keep away.
They are very alive, making me questioning “everything”… even who I really am!
Feeling insecure… still doesn’t know why, and that’s my conflict!
Do I fear to feel, to deep connect with someone and them be disappointed or do I really fear not to be connect at all?!!
Don’t make any sense in a “logical” perspective, knowing that can’t control my feelings, I do Know that life is always in movement, that every day is new one full of surprises, but also know that I’m strong, I can count on me, so WTF I’m afraid of???
A “control freak” that’s my problem… still facing some of my old “demons”, never had the strength or the courage of showing myself completely to someone, lived my all life giving/ sharing just “pieces” of me.
This time is different, it was not a conscience choice, it just happen!
It feels good, unexpected, real, overwhelming, disconcerting… for the first time it feels “Me”!
Realize that I do not know the “full” of me, and maybe that’s the reason of my “uncertainties”!
Do know that deeply Love this “Girl”, she is Real, Happy, Smiley… Complete!