In my mind I’m experiencing a
deep divergence between what I do know and what I feel.
Want to be cool, let it flow
and give it to the “Universe”, but my feelings are real, are not “assumptions”,
it’s not something that I simple throw in a “box” and keep away.
They are very alive, making me
questioning “everything”… even who I really am!
Feeling insecure… still doesn’t
know why, and that’s my conflict!
Do I fear to feel, to deep connect
with someone and them be disappointed or do I really fear not to be connect at
all?!!
Don’t make any sense in a “logical”
perspective, knowing that can’t control my feelings, I do Know that life is
always in movement, that every day is new one full of surprises, but also know
that I’m strong, I can count on me, so WTF I’m afraid of???
A “control freak” that’s my
problem… still facing some of my old “demons”, never had the strength or the
courage of showing myself completely to someone, lived my all life giving/
sharing just “pieces” of me.
This time is different, it was
not a conscience choice, it just happen!
It feels good, unexpected,
real, overwhelming, disconcerting… for the first time it feels “Me”!
Realize that I do not know the
“full” of me, and maybe that’s the reason of my “uncertainties”!
Do know that deeply Love this “Girl”,
she is Real, Happy, Smiley… Complete!
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