terça-feira, 27 de junho de 2017

“Love In Quarantine”… Day Twenty Two

One Year… 365 Days, that feels like it was yesterday, I smile, is a contradiction, now 22 days feels like an eternity.

Especially today I would like to hear his voice, see his smile and feel his warmth… today this “vow” feels harder.

Can close my eyes and sense the embrace, the perfume, the deep, intense (sweet) kisses, even experience how it feels to be totally his… I know that sounds lunacy, is not… The name is “sensitivity memory”.

Is “easy” to be around him, hear about his day, the projects, what he believe and defend, sharing a glass of red wine,… the “protection” feeling, being surround his hug, get pleasure with is humor, listen to his smile on a casual phone call, blush with naughty text messages… plan a weekend or a Paris escape!

In sum, I Love every minute by his side, how I feel about and near him.

The “Tomorrow” is a big “white” page, but now just feeling blessed for the chance of sharing all this moments… and Yes, today is a “Sunny Day”!

… ILY!

segunda-feira, 26 de junho de 2017

“Love In Quarantine”… Day Twenty One

Sometimes catch myself wondering how it will be, the “D” day? What will feel when this 40 days end? What in reality they will bring?

Of course that I do not have a clue about it, I just stand for half of the “question”, but is just for that “half” I do need to “work” with.

It’s important to understand and recognize that I’m responsible only for myself, my actions, feelings…, my Life.

Most important of all that, is having the experience of feeling complete, knowing that no matter what, I know more about myself, accept and respect all about it, that I’m proud of everything that I can say this is “Me”! 

“Love In Quarantine”… Day Twenty

Half Way… what I fell at this point? 
In the middle of “Just missing 20 days” or Still missing 20 days??!

It feels like the “40 Shadows of the Quarantine”!!!
Some are pure light like a sunrise or a sunset, other are darker as a lonely night!

Whatever the next 20 days will bring, I do know that my feelings are more clear and real, having the opportunity to deeply dive on them, embracing all the sensations, emotions, attachments they can offer to this journey.

sábado, 24 de junho de 2017

“Love In Quarantine”… Day Nineteen

Today we “cheat”, it was fun… His fault, I must say!!! He provokes, and I do have serious problems to refute or turn my back to it!!

Still dealing with tones of stuff, small details are the worse, but enjoying it, will be official on the first July!

Feeling good, actually very relax for the first time in days, “red wine” and “blue & white” does miracles on us!!!

Going to fall asleep with good vibes and memories!!! One less day…

sexta-feira, 23 de junho de 2017

“Love In Quarantine”… Day Eighteen

“Unfilled”… feels like I have a big hole on my chest that sucked all my energy.

“Love Hangover”… the abstinence from the “Us”, all the efforts needed to deal with the emotions and my deep thoughts are making me feel like this… doing my best to understand the strange “humor flows” that I’m dealing with.  

Smile and them sad and lonely, positive and then stay emotional… feeling tired!!!
It hard, just wants to scream and run far away from me, my thoughts, from this “emotional mood” that toke over my “Sunshine”!

Want to call and say: Hey you there… I Love You, I care, I feel… I “need” Us!!!
Can’t do that, so I write, it’s the only way I found to speak to myself, to organize ideas and try to understand my feelings.

Not going anywhere, just a “moment feeling”, here is where I want to be, is the “home” I choose no matter what.

Please do not misunderstand me… I do not regret anything, truly happy for being able to feel and sharing my feelings and thoughts, myself… just learning about it.

My heart shot every time we cross, who said: “Away from the eyes, away from the heart”???

Lie, it’s a myth… I never had You so close, so present in Me!!!

quinta-feira, 22 de junho de 2017

“Love In Quarantine”… Day Seventeen

Work, Beach, Yoga, Pádel… Full Day!!! 

quarta-feira, 21 de junho de 2017

“Love In Quarantine”… Day Sixteen

In my mind I’m experiencing a deep divergence between what I do know and what I feel.

Want to be cool, let it flow and give it to the “Universe”, but my feelings are real, are not “assumptions”, it’s not something that I simple throw in a “box” and keep away.

They are very alive, making me questioning “everything”… even who I really am!

Feeling insecure… still doesn’t know why, and that’s my conflict!
Do I fear to feel, to deep connect with someone and them be disappointed or do I really fear not to be connect at all?!!

Don’t make any sense in a “logical” perspective, knowing that can’t control my feelings, I do Know that life is always in movement, that every day is new one full of surprises, but also know that I’m strong, I can count on me, so WTF I’m afraid of???

A “control freak” that’s my problem… still facing some of my old “demons”, never had the strength or the courage of showing myself completely to someone, lived my all life giving/ sharing just “pieces” of me.
This time is different, it was not a conscience choice, it just happen!

It feels good, unexpected, real, overwhelming, disconcerting… for the first time it feels “Me”!

Realize that I do not know the “full” of me, and maybe that’s the reason of my “uncertainties”!

Do know that deeply Love this “Girl”, she is Real, Happy, Smiley… Complete!